The explanation

I’m sorry I can’t love you

Though it is what you want

And maybe what you deserve

I’m sorry I gave it all to someone

And all I can tell you is

‘Trust me I was once capable of love’

Though you look at me

Tear stained

Trying hard to understand why

I can’t love someone as beautiful as you

I’m sorry

I truly am

For I know if I could give love

Maybe I can have some love in return

But I can’t even feel

Leave alone love

For the past runs in my veins

Threatening to ooze out, bloody

I want to love you

I really do

But I can’t

I just can’t

Shiver

Shiver

I just did

Though I cannot

Seem to say why

I felt it was in part

The cold

In part

The time

In part

The un-explain-ability of it all

But I shivered

Here tonight

And I know it meant something

Something I cannot quite

Put to words

I shivered

I just don’t know

Exactly

Why

When I'm gone

When I’m gone
You won’t feel the emptiness
For I take it with me
To settle down in some fake paradise
I must create with my ingenuity

Rain departed

Rain fell for a long time

A bloody long time 
It fell every morning
As everyone else woke up to 
Sunny side up with a sense of belonging

Full heart/happy eyes

Dear

Come here
Sit 
Hold my hands

Battleground

Ah

Finally the curtains are here
Dark dusty coffee shade
To blot out the searing summer sun
To blend with the moss green
Abstract walls
In a room 
Where our bed stands
A centre piece
A stage 
For the battles we fight
You always win

12 lines of IF

If words were enough, this would all be sorted
If tears were enough, this desert would be green

Here

Here is hard
Here is sand in my eyes
Lava in my lungs
Pepper in my Veins
Always burning
No matter how many oceans I let loose
On the searing, crackling, whatever that consumes me

A year-end party

Take me hand

Whoever you are

Less was more

Take me back to happiness

Starry nights and cramped up spaces

Second Chance Clicks

Picture perfect

Picture fucked

Places I go to

Ocean in ocean out

Breathe in breathe out